Saturday 28 February 2009

Syndication Deals Agreed

The Cloughite is proud to announce syndication deals with the following media outlets:
  • WCA News (Weekend Casual Association)
  • NFA Gazette (Nighttime Football Association)
  • XEFA Update (Xtreme Evening Football Association)
These deals will allow us to bring the news from these publications to a wider audience. We hope that you'll enjoy reading these articles and we hope to be able to announce further deals in time for the forthcoming season.

Friday 27 February 2009

The Big Interview: Lenny Bernstein

After 3 seasons in the SEFA Lenny Bernstein has just completed his his first season in the third tier of the SFA after switching federations. Read our exclusive interview with him here:

Major Honours:
  • SFA Social Climbers North - 1 time winner


The Cloughite: You recently moved from the SEFA to the SFA, what were your reasons behind this change?
Lenny Bernstein: Mainly because the SFA had much more youth competitions, but also because the whole idea of a 'social' FA appealed. Don't get me wrong, I liked SEFA too, but I fancied a change. I'm loving the SFA though, so I imagine I'll be there for a while now.

The Cloughite: How did you find life in a lower division, having been in the top flight of the SEFA last season did you find there was a difference in class between your side and the rest the league?
Lenny Bernstein: On the whole, yes, although there were still some really good teams in the Social Climbers North, so it wasn't all plain sailing!

The Cloughite: The rule that forces clubs to start at the bottom tier when moving to a new federation has come under criticism lately for creating an imbalance in the lower leagues. Given the choice would you have preferred to have entered the SFA at a higher level where you would have been competing on a more even playing field, even though it may have meant a less successful season?
Lenny Bernstein: Personally I didn't mind at all. I'm not sure it would have been fair for me to jump straight in higher up than teams that have plugging away in the FA for a few seasons. Plus I enjoyed the fact I was winning! But I can see how it could frustrating for other teams in the division.

The Cloughite: Rodrigo Tabata has had a great season for you -- how does he compare to previous players to grace the Common Ground in seasons' past, would you say he's the best you've managed?
Lenny Bernstein: Yeah, he's been great. He's scored some spectacular goals. And I'm a firm believer in having one or two experienced players in the side, so he's really helped on that front too. I just hope his age doesn't mean his skills start declining soon. Having said all that, it's probably the youngsters I enjoy managing most and I'm really pleased that three of the them - Camargo, Roberto and Vermant - are all now breaking into the seniors!

The Cloughite: Securing your club's first major official honour must have been a proud moment for you, but football management can be a cruel mistress sometimes -- is there anything in your career that stands out as the low point?
Lenny Bernstein: On the pitch I've been pretty happy. It's the off-field activity that's caused me more pain. Like now - my finances are crippled because of the stadium-building, especially because the projected finances don't take account my stadium expansion plans. But definitely the worst moment for me was the mass exodus of managers from the UFFA at the beginning of season 4 -- and all the furore that surrounded that. So glad it's all over; and there are some awesome managers still in the UFFA, so cheers to that!

The Cloughite: With promotion to the SFA Championship secured, what are your goals for the coming season? Obviously, having come from the top flight in the SEFA and after such a convincing title campaign in the Social Climbers many will be expecting you to be pushing for back-to-back promotions to reach the top flight once more.
Lenny Bernstein: Yes, obviously promotion will be my first priority, although actually winning the SFA Championship will be very hard. And I'd also like at least one good cup run because I've always done really badly in the cups. If I can do that and remain financially solvent I'll be delighted!

Tuesday 24 February 2009

Dennis Moberg's XEFA Division 1 Update

Today we have the Update on Division 1 on our hands, and we hope you'll enjoy it - as usual.

Contents

  1. Standings
  2. 10 Quick Questions
  3. Team Stats
  4. Tactics Corner
  5. Player Stats
  6. The Interview


1. STANDINGS

Current Top 3:
1. Queluz FC - 57 Games, 75 GD, 136 Points
2. Eleven United - 60 Games, 44 GD, 119 Points
3. Logic Athletic - 59 Games, 34 GD, 106 Points

Projected Top 3:
1. Queluz FC - 181 Projected
2. Eleven United - 119 Projected
3. Logic Athletic - 106 Projected

Current Bottom 4:
17. SELHURST STARS - 64 Games, -25 GD, 65 Points
18. Munich United F.C. - 63 Games, -26 GD, 64 Points
19. Barnsley Tykes - 64 Games, -22 GD, 62 Points
20. Beard FC - 61 Games, -40 GD, 54 Points

Projected Bottom 4:
17. SELHURST STARS - 77 Projected
18. Munich United F.C. - 77 Projected
19. Barnsley Tykes - 73 Projected
20. Beard FC - 67 Projected

2. 10 QUICK QUESTIONS

..with Anna Meakin, manager of Bump N Grind. Anna's the only female manager in the XEFA - as far as I'm aware of - and she's one of too many Meakins that have Clough as their homeworld. Has one of the better offensive records in Division 1 but also one of the worst defensive ones - perfect ingridients for a mid-table position.

* Relaxing on the beach or Skiing in the mountains?
- relaxing on the beach

* Offense or Defense?
- Offense

* Kindereggs or Snacks?
- kinder eggs

* Alexander Meier or Michael Ballack?
- michael ballack

* Bump or Grind?
- BUMP

* 4-4-2 or 4-5-1?
- 4-5-1

* Nintendo DS or Sony PSP?
- Nintendo DS

* Wealth or Success?
- Success

* Playing FML or Doing homework with the kids?
- Homework

* XEFA or Shaun?
- XEFA!!!

3. TEAM STATS

Top 3 Most Goals Scored:
1. Queluz FC - 57 Games/139
2. Wirral County FC - 63 Games/110
3. Logic Athletic - 59 Games/109

Most Goals Conceded:
Bump N Grind - 120

Least Goals Conceded:
Referee Dependence FC - 51

Most Dribbles per Game in Total:
Ravensbourne fc - 28.5

Most Corner Goals:
Queluz FC - 39

Most Goals from Direct Free Kicks:
Russian Circles - 9

Most Goals from Indirect Free Kicks:
EiJit Wanderers - 15

Most Shots on Target:
Wincheap Acidemicals - 472 out of 913, 52%

Top 3 Team Total Avarage Rating:
1. Queluz FC - 57 Games/7.07
2. Eleven United - 60 Games/6.97
3. Wincheap Acidemicals - 64 Games/6.97

4. TACTICS CORNER

..with Aidan Flanagan, manager of Dynamo Dynasty, former manager of FC Jardines Del Rey. Has been ranked #1 in several gameworlds, but have had a tough time getting success in Clough. Did win the XEFA Division 1 last season with Jardines Del Rey before they disbanded shortly after.

What is your tactical philosophy in FML?
If you cant beat em, join em. well thats what i do anyway

Which is your most used formation in FML and why?
4-5-1, because i find it the best for me to use at the start of a GW, and slowly change it over time

You've managed to become a consistant top 10 team in a few Gameworlds, have this been down to your tactic or is it because of your ability of finding the right players?
I would say more down to finding the right players, i generally know what to look for to help my tactic

In FML, what do you feel are the overall most important attributes that players need to perform?
Speed, and obviously each posistion has their own specific attribute, but i like to have speed if i can

Do you feel that it's a viable option to assign a Playmaker or Target Man? Since some tactical guides like to refrain you from using them.
I tend to not touch playmaker option, doesnt really work too well for me, i like having target man however and can get some pretty good scoring rates using the option

What are your best tips for tactical beginners that would like to be as succesful as you? Well maybe not as succesful has you have been with Dynamo Dynasty in Clough but...
lol, well, people obviously wont agree, but i would say play a solid all round formation to start with like (4-5-1), and obviously as you progress they should find it easier to work others

Alright, thanks for your time Aidan and good luck with Dynamo Dynasty in the future
I'll need it

5. PLAYER STATS


Top 3 Most Goals Scored:
1. David Villa - 47 Games/53
2. Jermain Defoe - 63 Games/42
3. Nikola Nikezic - 58 Games/34

Most Shots on Target:
David Villa - 141 On Target out of 245, 58%

Most Offside Runs:
Jermain Defoe - 194

Most Assists:
Bosko Jankovic - 47

Most Dribbles per Game:
Otacílio - 8.63

Top 3 Most Man of the Match:
1. David Villa - 47 Games/15
2. Daniel Agger - 56 Games/11
3. Bogdan Stancu - 63 Games/10

Most Clean Sheets:
Marcelo Grohe - 29

Most Yellow Cards:
Sérgio Mota - 30

Top 3 Avarage Rating:
1. David Villa - 47 Games/7.66
2. Tranquillo Barnetta - 57 Games/7.44
3. Bosko Jankovic - 57 Games/7.43

6. THE INTERVIEW

..with Chris Foote, manager of Wincheap Acidemicals. The home of english High Profile striker Jermain Defoe and a lover of Super Joe since 1998.

Alright, let's start by letting you tell our readers a little about yourself and your connection to football.
I'd like to say that "i'm the man" but that would be a slight exaggeration. at uni at the moment in my last year, and probably spending a bit too much time on fml rather than concentrating on finishing my degree. i support swindon town because they're my hometown club, although i seriously question why i've stuck with them all these years. and i have an unhealthy obsession with joe cole.

Yes, that Joe Cole fellow. What is the deal with that, really? Not every team on FML has a badge dedicated for one player...
I'm not too sure really. i started to love him when he broke through the ranks at west ham, and have just followed him ever since. i used to love it on soccer am when the showboat segment was essentially just the joe cole show. you think the badge is bad though... i have a figure of him above my bed at uni, and when i turn on my bedside lamp, it shines on him like a spotlight..

And now his owner in Clough is planning to sell him - do you have a secret plan in order to get your hands on him?
I did tell shaun that i'd do anything, but i don't think that interested him sadly. i've made some pretty stupid choices financially, so there's no way that i can afford him sadly

A shame. You're currently sitting at the top of the table in the Division 1, how do you feel the season has gone so far?
Yeah it's gone alright. thinking about it, i'm pretty pleased with how the season has gone; last season i was struggling to even stay in league one, and there has been a turnaround. i think that's probably down to the signing of Defoe, and a few of my youth players making the step up this season

Yes, Jermain Defoe. He's your star player, and the one who has scored the 2nd most goals in the Div 1 after Villa. But he has also run offside the most times - that kind of sums him up I guess?
I've always though that defoe was the sort of player that needs alot of chances to even get a shot on target, and then many shots on target to score, so i guess the stat about being offside goes hand-in-hand with that; we just try and bombard him with passes and let the law of averages work

Your Youth Team has total wages off 43k, and you have learnt quite a few Coaching Skills. Is developing future stars one of your goals in Clough?
I'd like to say that i put alot of effort into developing for the future, but i'd be lying. when clough launched, i decided to concentrate on youth, trying to learn from mistakes i made in Beta, but i quickly got bored of the youth team, and only decided to re-enter the youth leagues last season. although, like i said before, i've started to benefit from my youth team, so maybe i should pay a bit more attention to them

Do you think your team would be up for the challenge of Championship football if you ended up being promoted?
I'd like to think so, but i'm not 100% sure. i definatly have some quality in the team, but many of the players are starting to get on now, and if i do get promoted, i'd probably need to freshen up my first team with some younger players, and possibly look to bring in another superstar to compete with the teams in the championship. it's a great thing about the XEFA that there are great teams in the championship, as well as the the premiership, and i'd relish the challenge

Alright, thanks for your time Chris and good luck for the remainder of the season.
Cheers Dennis, I would wish you look for the rest of your season, but hopefully you don't go up into the premiership next season, so my boys can teach Pompey a lesson

Monday 23 February 2009

Dennis Moberg's XEFA Championship Update

Alright, here we go with the 2nd update. Today we're taking a look at the Championship.

Contents

  1. Standings
  2. 10 Quick Questions
  3. Team Stats
  4. Tactics Corner
  5. Player Stats
  6. The Interview

1. STANDINGS

Current Top 3:
1. Relegation Fodder - 61 Games, 34 GD, 120 Points
2. Whitstable Galaxy - 59 Games, 33 GD, 109 Points
3. FC Cornelius - 56 Games, 31 GD, 109 Points

Projected Top 3:
1. Relegation Fodder - Projected 149 Points
2. FC Cornelius - Projected 147 Points
3. Whitstable Galaxy - Projected 140 Points

Current Bottom 4:
17. Tricky Trees FC - 57 Games, -20 GD, 67 Points
18. Killer Saints - 60 Games, -13 GD, 65 Points
19. Adrian Monk FC - 57 Games, -37 GD, 51 Points
20. Kavchester City - 57 Games, -55 GD, 25 Points

Projected Bottom 4:
17. Alchoholics - Projected 87 Points
18. Killer Saints - Projected 82 Points
19. Adrian Monk FC - Projected 68 Points
20. Kavchester City - Projected 25 Points


2. 10 QUICK QUESTIONS

..with Amjad 'The Flash' Parkar, manager of Made in Beverley Drive. Famous for losing big to me back in Season 1, and now runs the Cloughite together with Dave - "Clough's only tabloid news paper".

* Snow or Sand?
- snow

* Premiership or Championship?
- champ

* Coffee or Beer?
- none

* Youth or Experience?
- youth

* Tabloid Newspapers or Normal Newspapers?
- normal

* Stadium or New Signings?
- new signings

* Watching a movie or Reading a book?
- movie

* Winning all games vs. me in the Champs or Losing all games vs. me and winning every other game in the Champs?
- the first one

* Sleeping or Being Awake?
- being awake

* XEFA or Shaun?
- XEFA (after answering Shaun but changing his mind )

3. TEAM STATS

Top 3 Most Goals Scored:
1. Whitstable Galaxy - 59 Games/109
2. Relegation Fodder - 61 Games/109
3. Huish FC - 63 Games/101

Most Dribbles per Game:
Falmer BHA - 27.19%/Game

Most Yellow Cards:
Kop fc - 59 Games/128

Most Penalties Recieved:
Made in Beverley Drive - 8

Top 3 Most Corner Goals:
1. Kop fc - 59 Games/34
2. Whitstable Galaxy - 59 Games/30
3. Ann Arbor Arsenal - 61 Games/30

Most Goals from Indirect Free Kicks:
Whitstable Galaxy - 15

Most Goals from Direct Free Kicks:
Alchoholics - 6

Most Fouls Against:
Alchoholics - 871

Top 3 Team Avarage Rating:
1. FC Cornelius - 56 Games/6.99
2. Kop fc - 59 Games/6.92
3. Ann Arbor United - 60 Games/6.92


4. TACTICS CORNER

..with Dave "Cloughite" Parker, manager of Relegation Fodder, one of the wealthiest teams in the world. This has shown this season when they are on the course to playing Premiership football for the first time in their history.

What is your tactical philosophy in FML?
I value a a strong midfield over all else, I play thee central midfielders that most would consider defensive, but I think they're pretty complete players and can contribute as much going forward as defensively despite being labelled "DM". I rely on the full backs to provide support to a front 3, even though it can leave me short at the back I like to see goals. I'm happy to concede 4 as long as we score 5 ourselves.

When you make your tactic, do you design it after what you have at your disposal or do you like to decide on a tactic and then try and fill it with what you got?
I have a tactic in mind from the start and aim to sign players that fit my overall goal -- it's a rarity that I'll sign a player with low technique and/or passing anywhere on the pitch -- even at CB I look for players with high attributes in technique and passing. Occasionally a player does come along that I'll modify my system for slightly though, but I've seen the results of picking indivuals over forming a team from suffering through the last 6 years of supporting England

How do you go about setting up set pieces? A topic that always is hot is the one of the "corner exploit" - are you an "abuser" of this and what is your general tought on the subject?
I get my fair share from corners. I have 1 man attacking the far post, 1 the near post and the big CB challenging the keeper. I keep plenty back to prevent counter attacks and keep most of the midfield outside to area to pick up any lose ball to keep the pressure on even if the opponents do clear the initial corner.

As far as the corner exploit itself goes -- I've wanted it fixed since back in beta, it's far too often that goals are scored from corners in my opinion. But it's part of the game at the moment and as frustrating as it is seeing 2 out of 3 goals come from a corner it's in the game and I feel I've got no choice but to use it without handicapping myself.

For freekicks I rely on the brillaince of Edimar Teixeira ... no instructions needed

How do you think when setting up the Closing Down in your tactics? Do you let your strikers push hard, and then let the slider fall a little for every part of the team? Or do you do it differently?
My midfield three are charged with closing down the opposition, the three forwards have a free role pretty much with very little, if any, defensive responsabilities. The back 4 are all set to "normal" still, but tbh that's more because I can't decide what to do with them rather than any tactical insight into it's effectiveness. When they close down the get dragged out of position too early and when I tred setting them to rarely close down I think they took it a little too literally and ended up escorting the opposition into the 6 yard box more than anything

What are your best tips for tactical beginners that would like to be as succesful as you?
Aim higher :) Erm ... don't mess with things too much I guess would be the biggest tip. I found that keeping the tactical sliders between 25% and 75% worked best for me -- at the extremes the effects seemed to have more negative impact than positive.

Alright, thanks for your time Dave and good luck with winning the Championship - Cheers, no thanks to that 3-1 reverse earlier -- I'll be expecting a similar score when you face FC Cornelius tomorrow


5. PLAYER STATS

Top 3 Most Goals Scored:
1. Oscar Cardozo - 56 Games/46
2. Giampaolo Pazzini - 61 Games/40
3. Itamar - 62 Games/30

Most Penalty Goals:
Sejad Salihovic - 7

Most Dribbles per Game:
Sean Franklin - 8.91

Most Clean Sheets:
Gábor Németh - 20
Justo Villar - 20

Most Assists:
Wágner - 57 Games/35

Top 3 Most Man of the Match:
1. Oscar Cardozo - 56 Games/12
2. Fabricio Coloccini - 57 Games/11
3. Giampaolo Pazzini - 61 Games/11

Most Fouls Committed:
Rafal Kosznik - 143

Most Offsides:
Roberto Soldado - 151

Top 3 Highest Avarage Rating:
1. Wágner - 57 Games/7.36
2. Oscar Cardozo - 56 Games/7.29
3. Wilson Palacios - 58 Games/7.27


6. THE INTERVIEW

..with Daniel (El Niño) Sammut, manager of Kop fc. A lot has changed since last season, and that certainly merits an interview with the old Relegation King of the XEFA?

Hello again Dan. A lot has happened since last season - back then we were both in the relegation battle, next season we might both be in the Prem. In your case, what has happened?
Well not much has happend i discovered a new formation in late stages of last seasin wich saved me from relegation (yup i needed to win to be safe not like someone ) and have say too that wagner decided he want to have his best season so pretty much owe this to him being gr8

Yes, Wagner has been great this season, in many ways. Best avarage rating in the Champs, as well as most assists... And you're playing in the same league as guys like Pazzini and Cardozo. How important is he to you?
He's my gerrard he can turn games in 10 mins hes defenitly never leaving the club


You've recieved the most Yellow Cards in the Champs this season so far - have your team toughened up a bit?
Think it was like that even last season no ? well i try to stop that but with no success honestly think that divers are the problem not my defenders

So you're not using any Hard Tackling then?
Nah its set to normal i got enough problems like this imagine hard tackles would double the fouls

What are you hoping for now? Think you got what it takes to secure a top 3 spot?
I want 3rd place wont be easy tho was aiming higher before i lost a couple of games and some draws now ill be happy with 3rd place

Alright the newsletter is running out of space, do you have any last comments for our readers?
No, thats ur job mate lol

Sunday 22 February 2009

Dennis Moberg's XEFA Premiership Update

Hi all, and welcome to the first edition of the XEFA Updates. First out is the League I missed to do last time around - the Premiership.

I've added 3 contents this season. Firstly, we have the 10 Quick Questions. These are 10 random questions to a member, and they can only choose one option to answer. Then we have the Tactics Corner, were I speak to a top side about their tactical thoughts. And lastly, we have the Playtime Question, were I ask a random question and were the quickest one to answer the question correctly will be rewarded by having their name placed in the XEFA chatroom topic.

Contents

  1. Standings
  2. 10 Quick Questions
  3. Team Stats
  4. Tactics Corner
  5. Player Stats
  6. The Interview

1. STANDINGS

Current Top 3
1. Dueling Dragons - 54 Games, 34 GD, 106 Points
2. King Krimson - 55 Games, 36 GD, 97 Points
3. Smithson Town - 56 Games, 20 GD, 89 Points

Projected Top 3:
1. Dueling Dragons - Projected 149 Points
2. King Krimson - Projected 134 Points
3. Fro United - Projected 123 Points

Current Bottom 4:
17. Bakaz FC - 54 Games, -18 GD, 83 Points
18. Cambridge Casuals - 49 Games, -16 GD, 56 Points
19. Compit FC - 52 Games, -26 GD, 54 Points
20. Faversham Town - 59 Games, -44 GD, 46 Points

Projected Bottom 4:
17. Bakaz FC - Projected 83 Points
18. Compit FC - Projected 78 Points
19. Droitwich FC - Projected 77 Points
20. Faversham Town - Projected 59 Points


2. 10 QUICK QUESTIONS

...with Andrew Parkes, manager of Dueling Dragons FC - constant top 5 team in the world, currently ranked 3rd, only team in the world with a 4.5 team reputation.

All questions that are answered with "both" are given thumbs down

* Fastfood or Homecooked?
- Fastfood

* Diego Forlan or Dimitar Berbatov?
- Diego Forlan (with a hint of surprise)

* Summer or Winter?
- Summer

* Winning the Premiership or Winning the Gold Cup?
- Premiership

* Drama or Action?
- Drama

* Being Community Manager of the Season or Being Manager's Manager of the Season?
- Manager's Manager of the Season

* Working at work or Playing FML at work?
- Playing FML at work (with a hint of "lol")

* Buy Experienced Stars or Give Youngsters a chance?
- Both

* Quiet Evening at Home or Lively Evening at Parties?
- Parties

* XEFA or Shaun?
- XEFA (with a hint of indicisiveness and doubt)


3. TEAM STATS

Top 3 Most Goals Scored:
1. King Krimson FC - 111
2. Dueling Dragons FC - 97
3. ZenEagles - 80

Most Fouls Committed:
Droitwich FC - 778

Least Fouls Committed:
Wymondham FC - 499

Most Red Cards:
RockSteady FC - 5

Most Corners:
Dueling Dragons FC - 456

Top 3 Goals from Corners:
1. Dueling Dragons FC - 40
2. RockSteady FC - 35
3. King Krimson FC - 34

Least Goals Conceded:
Wymondham FC - 52

Most Goals Conceded:
Faversham Town - 108

Most Goals from Direct Free Kicks:
Nottingham Forest 1865 - 6

Most Goals from Indirect Free Kicks:
Fro United - 16

Top 3 Total Avarage Rating:
1. Smithson Town FC - 6.93
2. Fro United - 6.92
3. King Krimson FC - 6.91


4. TACTICS CORNER

..with Rafael Popovic, manager of King Krimson FC. Constant top side of the world, currently ranked 16th, and Rafael is facing his best Prem position ever, currently placed 2nd. Is set to play the Gold Cup Final against Vasco mendes' 4th ranked Dragon team.

What is your tactical philosophy in FML?
Of course the 4-3-3, attacking 4-3-3

How do you approach your tactics when you create them? Do you complete them at once or are they constantly changing?
Usually I try to complete my tactic and use it but during the matchesi see what happen on the pitch and change something , like pressing, def line, att mindset, and so on

Do you give all players a specific role to the team or do you believe in dividing the team in several groups - like Defense, Support, Attack?
I like the simmetry so i work on the specific groups, u never will see a player on the right not in line with the other on the left and so on, in my team at least, ^_^

Do you usually tick the Free Role and Hold Up Ball buttons on individual players? Do you feel they serve a purpose?
Yeah I use both... but i can't say if it work... I like to think yes!!!

What are your best tips for tactical beginners that would like to be as succesful as you?
Play the 4-3-3 of course with a TM in the centre and 2 fast forwards near him... very important to play the 4-3-3 are the WBs cos they have to go up & down on their side

Alright, thanks for your time Rafa and good luck in the Gold Cup Final
thx Dennis... I need it,

5. PLAYER STATS

Top 3 Goals Scored:
1. Dimitar Berbatov - 49 Games/49 Goals
2. David N'Gog - 60 Games/37 Goals
3. Jô - 50 Games/34 Goals

Most Dribbles:
Amaral - 9.39/Match

Most Fouls Committed:
Pavel Caicedo - 53 Games/148

Most Clean Sheets:
Germán Lux - 54 Games/23

Top 3 Most Assists:
1. Andrea Gasbarroni - 54 Games/47
2. Darijo Srna - 55 Games/35
3. Olexiy Godin - 49 Games/28

Most Man of the Match:
Andrea Coda - 55 Games/14

Most Yellow Cards:
Pavel Caicedo 53 Games/31

Top 3 Highest Avarage Rating:
1. Dimitar Berbatov - 49 Games/7.47
2. Cristiano Ronaldo - 59 Games/7.42
3. Andrea Coda - 55 Games/7.34

6. THE INTERVIEW

..with Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher, manager of Droitwich FC. Famous for breaking the Not Winning Record in the 1st season. Our very own mod in the XEFA.

Dennis "The Riddler" Moberg says:
Since the XEFA was established 4 seasons ago, you have participated in 4 different leagues. Which have you enjoyed the most, and how do you feel the current one - the Prem - is?

Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher says:
I guess enjoyed is a hard word, I really enjoyed winning my div1 that was tough and i went on a great run at the end to win it that was very satifying, But both the prem this season and the champ last were great for a challenge although the Prem seems too much for my little team

Dennis "The Riddler" Moberg says:

Yes, you are a little team but one can't think about you without thinking about Cristiano Ronaldo. Avaraging over 7.4 every season, one of the stars of the game, and now you're selling him. How do you feel about him and why is he departing?

Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher says:
Abit sad i love him on the game he does cause such problems for defences in GW12 with Torres aswell he was unstoppable. I guess i want a change even if i don't get much money for im i want a new team a new challenge and a team that plays in a totally different style

Dennis "The Riddler" Moberg says:
You are currently projected to be relegated back down to the Championship. What has went wrong this season - or have you been expecting this from the beginning?

Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher says:
I have had some unlucky results but the fact is I haven't had any money to improve my team due to stadiums therefore there still at championship level

Dennis "The Riddler" Moberg says:
Anything you think you could have done better now when you look back at the season - not that it's finished yet...

Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher says:
not really i think its just that i couldn't improve my team to make the step up

Dennis "The Riddler" Moberg says:
Pavel Caicedo has committed the most fouls in the Premiership; 155. Do you feel you're too offensive and that this might cause it, or is Caicedo simply past his prime?

Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher says:
lol didn't know that, fullbacks always seem to do the most fouls on this game though, prob his age is catching up with him

Dennis "The Riddler" Moberg says:
Now, since we're talking to XEFA's very own Mod... How do you feel the XEFA is as a community? And do you have any secret plans you wish to share with our readers?

Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher says:
XEFA has a great community some very passionate and addicted users, its been a pleasure to be part of it tbh. Secret plans....like changing the name and kicking everyone out?....lol no no secret plans.

Dennis "The Riddler" Moberg says:
Thanks for your time and good luck with the remainder of the season - think you'll be able to survive?

Matt "Dark Knight" Fletcher says:
no , sunk, thanks Denny

Friday 20 February 2009

"Old Gits" Award Nomination Scandal

The UFFA has been rocked by a fresh scandal following yesterday's announcement of the shortlist for the Community Manager of the Season award:

The shortlist in full:
  • Colin Mills
  • Paul Wheeler
  • Michael Marsden
  • Kenny Purdy
  • Richard Millar
  • Jose Arqued
  • Amjad Parkar
  • Kevin Bristow
  • Jordi Calvo
  • Sturla Pettersen

A number of these managers have been accused in some quarters of trying to manipulate the shortlist for the award by trading nominations throughout the season. Rumours further fueled by the departure of Colin Mills and 6 others on this shortlist -- affectionately known as "the old gits" in certain circles -- from the UFFA earlier in the season after it was revealed Mills' club, Dukes Park Dons, were under investigation by the authorities.

A spokesman for the UFFA this evening urged managers to vote for Richard Millar, Amjad Parkar or Sturla Pettersen. The Cloughite will go one further and encourage you to vote for our very own Amjad Parkar who's dedication to community projects deserves recognition from his peers.

Thursday 19 February 2009

Game World Cup Semi-Final draw made

The draw for the semi-finals of the Game World cup has been made, the first tie will see CWA Premiership title challengers Marsh Factor play EEFA strugglers Throw in the Howell.

Two own goals were enough to secure progress to the semi-finals for Throw in the Howell as they beat Fennia JK 2-1 after extra time in their quarter-final match. It was a cruel defeat for Fennia JK, with defender Bongani Khumalo putting the ball into his own net in the final minute of extra-time as a penalty shootout looked inevitable. Reflecting on being drawn against Marsh Factor George Howell admitted that his team will be underdogs:

I think that Marsh Factor are strong favourites to go through to the final, with quality and pace throughout their team that I think my young side will find difficult to deal with. The T.I.T. Howell players have already exceeded my expectations by getting this far, and it's a real achievement in of itself.

We're still building for the future here at Tar Valon, and the aim for the season was (and still is) to consolidate our Premiership status whilst bringing through quality youngsters to the first team.

Marsh Factor's quarter final with Osgodby Rovers was the tie of the round, and one of the most exciting games of the season so far in any competition. Marsh Factor 'keeper Khune saved a Miguel Amado penalty in the first half before seeing his team go 1-0 down on the hour. Within minutes the scores were level again when Matin Lanig scored his first goal of the match, and that's how it remained at full time.

Extra-time was even more action packed; it took Marsh Factor only 2 minutes to take the lead when Martin Lanig scored his second of the game, but 2 minutes later the scores were once again level when Dominic Adiyiah latched onto a quickly taken freekick. The fans did not have to wait long for the third goal of extra-time either, Adiyiah grabbing his second of the game in the 98th minute to give Rovers' a 3-2 lead.

Unbelievably this lead only lasted 2 minutes before Adrian Colunga scored to bring the scores to 3-3 and complete the most action packed 8 minutes of football you could ever wish to witness. 3-3 it finished and the drama continued into the penalty shootout -- at 2-2, with each side having missed their 3rd spot kick, Marsh Factor 'keeper Khune stood his ground to save Leumi's poor penalty. Martin Lanig converted for Marsh Factor to make the score 3-2 and leaving Rovers' two-goal hero Dominic Adiyiah needing to score to avoid defeat only to see his penalty brilliantly saved by Khune to send Marsh Factor through to their first GWC semi-final to the delight of their manager Adam Marshall:

In the last 3 seasons we haven't made it beyond the 3rd round so we are delighted to be so close to glory. We won the CWA Cup a while back but it looks a bit lonely in the trophy cabinet. Our semi-final opponents won't be a pushover, they've got a very creative midfield, but our lads are buzzing at the moment after scraping through an epic quarter final on penalties. It's going to be a great game.

In the second semi EEFA Permiership favourites FC Koselsk will play MFA Premiership leaders Shaolin Avengers.

Koselsk fought back from conceding an early goal in their quarter-final match against The Moles to win through to the semi-final stage for the second time in their history. Progress was not so simple for Matt Booth's Avengers' though, their game against PFA Division 1 side Mutantes Raivosos went to penalties following a 1-1 draw. Matias Sanchez scoring the final spot kick to take Shaolin Avengers through to their first ever GWC semi-final:

We are estatic to have made it to the semi-finals of the Game World Cup. FC Koselsk away is a very tough draw: Andrew has a great team, and I don't have the best record against him, but as every game, we'll go out on the pitch with an attacking mentality and fight for every ball, and see if we just can't scatch out a result

Wednesday 18 February 2009

Krimson Keeps XEFA Guessing Over Title Credentials

It was a game of two halves - or should that be two matches - for Mihai Cristian's fading Rapid Pitesti players and Rafa Popovic's glittering King Krimson outfit. Both beat each other in quick succession, but it was the manner of the Bosnian team's victory and subsequent defeat that will no doubt have a big say on where the XEFA Premier title goes to this season.

Krimson drew first blood, smashing Pitesti 5-1 with Aleksandar Stepanovski in particularly scintillating form. Stevan Jovetic opened the scoring for Popovic's team, finishing off a well worked move, before Jo equalised from a corner for the opposition. The home team then ran riot, taking the lead again through a Nikola Zigic headed goal before Stepanovski added a third.

Jovetic completed his brace by heading in a corner and Stepanovski made Pitesti's misery complete with a stunning solo effort that surely deserves to be nominated for goal of the week.

However, it was a different story when Cristian demanded an immediate rematch, which Popovic accepted without hesitation. Jo once again demonstrated why he is one of the best strikers in the game, opening the scoring by heading in a pinpoint Danilo Rios cross. He then added a second by converting one of the typically dangerous Pitesti corners.

Late sub Cristian Nazarith then sealed the defeat by taking advantage of Krimson's inability to deal with a cross to slot in the third. Popovic was at a loss to explain how he won one game so convincingly, only to be beaten quite soundly the next:

I felt the second match was tight but my team attacked throughout. However Rapid scored with one long pass after a break, one corner as usual, and the last one at the death after I tried to come back into the match.


Meanwhile, Cristian was typically bullish after defeating Krimson:

It's important to learn from defeats. I saw where I was weak in the first game, I made two little changes and the game went my way.


While the Pitesti title challenge seems to have faded away, Krimson's hope of ending Dueling Dragons' grip on the league depends on which team turns up to play their remaining crucial matches: the one which is famed for its fabulous attacking play, or the one that seems to be creaky at the back.

Tuesday 17 February 2009

Trio Depart Villans

Erdington Villans manager Richard Birchall yesterday concluded the transfers of Jorge Villalpando, Martin Demichelis and Samuel Eto'o out of the club, easing the club's precarious financial position.

To be honest there is nothing I would love more than to keep my star players but keeping my club alive has to be the main priority and we just couldn't afford it financially.

It's quite sad for the economy that one of the top strikers in the game sells only £500k, but it was expected.


Despite 20 goals from only 23 appearances this season it had been widely reported that the Villans simply could not afford to hold onto their star striker and a fee of £500'000 was enough to see the 30 year old Cameroonian striker head to Folkestone Eagles. Eagles' manager James Bambridge was delighted with the deal:

I'm very happy and excited about the signing of Samuel. He is world class and, even though the wages are £65'000, I know I am buying goals. I hope he settles into the side nicely so we can continue our push up the UFFA rankings.


£750'000 saw commanding centre-back Martin Demichelis head to the Recreation Ground, signing for Villans' PFA Premier League rivals Fen Ditton. Villans' third departure of the day saw Villalpando head to XEFA 2nd Division leaders Smaley's Rams for £200'000.

Sunday 15 February 2009

The Big Interview: Andrew Parkes

With 7 major senior honours to his name, in arguably the most competitive federation in the UFFA, Andrew Parkes is possibly the most successful manager in the history of the UFFA. Read our exclusive interview with him here:

Major Honours:
  • UFFA Game World Cup - 2 times winner
  • XEFA Premiership - 2 times winner
  • XEFA Cup - 2 times winner
  • XEFA Non-Premiership Cup - 1 time winner

The Cloughite:
What's your greatest accomplishment in management so far?
Andrew Parkes: Hmm, that's a tough one actually. I feel I've been pretty lucky to have won as many titles as I have so far but I think in terms of accomplishment it has to be winning the premier league for the first 2 years running against some of the best teams in the world

The Cloughite: Who do you consider the best player you've ever managed?
Andrew Parkes:
Haha, I guess that's an easy one. I do tend to moan about him a lot but when it comes to class and being a match winner, it really has to be Diego Forlan. There have been some other stars who have been understated, such as Gaitan and Diarra but the first man to get his name on one of my stands is Forlan.

The Cloughite: Who would you say is your greatest managerial rival; what sets them apart from the rest?
Andrew Parkes: Ahh, good question. I think I'll have to say Skylar Locke. Although he's left the GW now, we had such a great rivalry when we seemed to be competing for 1st and 2nd [in the UFFA rankings] for the first few seasons I think it was mainly as we seemed to play each other quite a lot and had some good banter in each of the matches. Always felt like you were playing for the number one spot. That said, there are so many good managers and teams around now, even though quite a lot of them have left.

I think there is a strong rivalry in my particular FA league too, once again many strong teams there but the big games against the likes of Rapid Pitesi and Smithson Town are always the ones you really don't want to lose. There seem to be so many good teams in my division now though that all the matches are starting to have that feel haha.

The Cloughite: FC Koselsk appear to have a pretty firm hold on the #1 spot in the UFFA rankings right now. Do you think your team has what it takes to reclaim the #1 spot this season?
Andrew Parkes:
FC Koselsk are playing very well at the moment and have a very good team and manager. My team's form since the start of the season hasn't been great but I believe we have turned the corner now. I do actually believe I still have the team capable of regaining the number 1 spot and will of course be trying to take it back. Whether or not I do is another matter; I think there are a few teams out there who are more than capable of taking that spot.

The Cloughite: The Dragon's seem to have improved their focus to youth team football this season. Is this a result of the so called "Clough Crunch"?
Andrew Parkes:
Not really, I started up the youth team for the start of season two as I really like the idea of bringing youths through from an early age. If anything, I think the so-called "Clough Crunch" would more likely have made me sell off my youth team as a lot of other managers affected by the economic crisis have done.

My first aim was to compete at the highest level possible, meaning to do well in senior matches as a priority and have always tried to run my club soundly - both financially and in terms of challenging for titles. As a consequence when the stadiums were introduced I was able to begin work on the stadium and retain my players without going bust. It will certainly be tight fiscally for a little while and may even cease to operate a youth team for a season or two whilst I seek to expand my stadium. That said, I love the idea of youth squads so it will always remain a long term aim and ideal of the club.

The Cloughite: Can we expect to see any of the players from your youth team making the step up to senior football and making a name for themselves there sometime soon?
Andrew Parkes:
There are a couple of the youngsters who have impressed me. The likes of Adriano Antonello and Rodrigo Oliva have been improving well and looking to get a place in the first team. I think, realistically, Antonello is the one I feel could be making more and more first team starts and we'll see how he copes with some of the bigger games. Would be great to see some of the young dragons performing at the highest level for the club.

The Cloughite: You mentioned the club's current stadium construction earlier, do you have a long term plan for the stadium in mind?
Andrew Parkes:
Yeah, the first aim was to get something built that would get me the same kind of income as I am currently getting but leave options for big expansion. With our club's reputation we required a stadium of around 65'000 capacity, which was never going to happen quickly.

I'm fairly happy with the stadium being built at the moment but it's fair to say I have big plans for it. As I'm sure most other managers are aware of though, it takes a lot of money to build a super-sized stadium. So over the next few season we will be looking into developing the stadium with another couple of 3-tier stands. I'd like to make it one of the best stadiums around and long term, around 4 or 5 seasons time, I would love to realise my plans for an 85k capacity stadium. That will depend greatly on financial situation of course and also if I can maintain my team's reputation and fan-base. All a long way off but safe to say I have some big ideas for the club on and off the field.

The Cloughite: Many top teams left the UFFA at the start of the season, due to the poor financial state their managers had put their club into in the persuit of on field success. What do you feel you've done differently to both succeed on the pitch and off it?
Andrew Parkes: Yeah, I think a lot of clubs got caught out, not really expecting or being fully prepared for what was coming with the stadiums. Obviously quite a contentious issue that as you say resulted in many leaving or even restarting. For me, I think it's due to a certain ethos I had when I started.

With the exception of Forlan, I have never had anyone on very high wages and tried to build a unit that was solid all over the pitch and their respective positions rather than trying to buy the stars out there. I would say and I'm sure many would agree, that I'm a very tactical minded manager on the pitch. I think it's also true off the field, I've always tried to keep well within the means of my income and have money in reserve for any situation that may occur.

My transfer policy is generally a tight one where I only buy to replace current team members rather than over-extending the budget. I think this has meant I've been able to stay afloat and even make a couple of signings after the economic crash.

Saturday 14 February 2009

Rangers Slip to First Defeat of the Season

Polytech Grenoble 3 Rumford Rangers 2

Despite coming back from a goal down, twice, Rumford Rangers dropped what could be three crucial points to title rivals Polytech Grenoble in this epic encounter between two of the pre-season favourites for the SFA Social Premiership.

The first 25 minutes of the game were a forgettable affair with little action of note, however the game kicked into life in the 28th minute when Granero put Grenoble 1-0 up following a quickly taken freekick by Hernandez. Rangers' did not have to wait long for a chance to draw level, Ziani wasting a clear cut chance with only the 'keeper to beat, moments later they were level though; Kallon drilling the ball past Luis Martinez in the 37th minute.

Grenoble began the second half as they ended the first; heaping pressure upon the Rangers' defense, ironically their breakthrough came as a result of a rare Rangers' attack. With Rangers over-committed for a corner kick Granero won the ball in his own penalty area and launched it upfield to Valbuena who, after beating Hugo to the ball, expertly lobbed the oncoming 'keeper from 25 yards out in a textbook counter-attack.

At 2-1 down, Rangers' stepped up a gear and their excellent play was rewarded in the 77th minute when the ball fell to Kanoute on the far post from a Ziani corner. The Malian, on loan from Relleu Gooners, only had to poke the ball across the line. The deciding goal in the game came only 2 minutes later when Hernandez's shot from distance took a wicked deflection off Rangers' midfielder Faty to leave 'keeper Stuart Taylor no chance and give Grenoble the lead for the third time in the match.

To round off a disappointing match for Rangers, Mitreski was sent off in the 89th minute for a second bookable offense.

Caio Injury Shocker

Relegation Fodder manager Dave Parker today confirmed that cultured Brazilian attacking midfielder Caio suffered a broken leg following a late tackle from Darío Almirón during the match against Andreas Panayi's high flying Honka.

Caio has been sent to a specialist for treatment, but the injury is expected to keep Caio out of action for the remainder of the season. This is a huge blow to Fodder's hopes of challenging for the XEFA Championship this season as the 25 year old attacker has been one of the team's best performers since joining the club 4 seasons ago.

17 year old brazilian starlet Edimar Teixeira -- whose arrival at the club during pre-season was somewhat overshadowed by the high profile signings of Cigarini, Hamsik & Pazzini -- is expected to fill in for Caio on the right side of their attack.

Thursday 12 February 2009

Top players sacrificed as Clough Credit Crunch takes hold

Eto'o, Tosic, Moutinho and Arshavin. All top players that would no doubt be an asset to any club currently fighting for glory in their respective leagues in the UFFA. Yet the managers that currently look after these stars aren't trying to hold on to them. They're trying to get RID of them (or already have) as they battle against crippling wage bills and stadium costs.

Erdington Villans manager Richard Birchall is keen to offload Samuel Eto'o, despite the striker grabbing a hat-trick in a high profile match against Chester Rats in a high profile Gold Cup match a few days ago. But with the Cameroonian star's 65k pay packet accounting for a substantial chunk of the club's 240k wage bill, it's clear Birchall needs to streamline:

I have so much debt I will probably go bust so I have no choice to be honest. I need to find £5 million from somewhere in next 3 weeks to pay my debt before I go bankrupt.


When the Cloughite asked Birchall how he had such a high debt he replied:

I had a £4 million pound debt but needed a £9 million stadium.


So are these managers simply paying the price for their own financial stupidity, or are they genuinely victims of so-called 'Clough Credit Crunch'? There is no doubt the dramatic slow-down in the transfer market has hit clubs hard. But it can also be argued that managers had ample time to account for the financial impact of the stadiums.

Manager of DeeJayOne FC James Hargreaves says he hasn't been irresponsible:

My problem is that I didn't play the markets beforehand - I got a squad and stuck with it. That coupled with the uncertainty over actual costs for stadiums led me to believe I was being responsible. I knew the stadiums were coming, but there was constant uncertainty in the forums as to costs (which were changed several times) - by the time I realised there would be an issue, the markets had frozen. I was a day or two late on capitalising on the increased market before 'the big crash'.


A quick glance at DeeJayOne's finances reveals a reasonable wage bill with a sensibly planned stadium that matches the club's ambitions, so Hargreaves may indeed have a point.

One thing is for sure - the transfer market needs to get moving again for UFFA managers to have any chance of managing the financial crisis and to avoid being forced to let their top players go for relatively low acquisition fees.

However, manager of the Moles Shaun Meakin remains a voice of optimism:

I feel that, with this current fiscal situation, the market will make a steady rise within the next couple of seasons. It will never reach the dizzy heights it once was but it will return to a sensible level where players will sell for around their Market Value.


If Meakin's prediction does come true, then maybe one day we'll return to an era where top players (on reasonable wages) will continue to ply their trade in a fitting stadium for those loving managers who have the financial means in place to keep them there for many seasons.

Dragons' Crash Out

Strawberry Fields F.C. 2 Dueling Dragons FC 1

Two-time GWC winners Dueling Dragons were dumped out of this season's competition at the Tyson Hill Memorial Stadium in the 2nd round after being reduced to ten men following the sending off of Avine just before half time. In a post match interview Parkes accepted that the card was warranted but had not given up hope of qualification despite being one man down:

No complaints about it [the red card] though, deserved a red and of course I'm disappointed with Avine's challenge. From that moment on, my team were second best and it was going to be a rearguard approach to the rest of the game. We have faced similar situations in this competition in the past and always prevailed but this time around we just couldn't deal with Strawberry Fields' one man advantage.


Diego Forlan gave the Dragons the lead in the 15th minute of the game after Fields' full back Aranda lost possession cheaply in his own half. The Dragons looked in control of the game until Avine's dangerous two-footed lunge on Rosinei saw referee Nicole Petignat produce a straight red card just before half time.

Strawberry Fields took advantage of their man advantage, dominating the second half, and it took a fine save from Dragons' goalkeeper Foster to prevent Rosinei levelling the scores in the 58th minute. However Fields' did not have to wait long for their equalizer, a breakaway down the left flank in the 64th minute resulted in Bukari powering the ball past a helpless Foster. The pressure continued and 10 minutes later Radovanovic headed in Ozil's cross from the left wing and Dragons' hopes of defending the trophy were fading fast.

Radovanovic thought he'd scored a second goal in the 90th minute, but it was rightly ruled out for offside.

MacLean was in reflective mood after the match admitting that the result had come as a bit of a surprise:

It's never easy when your drawn against a team of the Dragons' stature, and having never beat them before I think only a fool would have bet against Mr. Parkes side progressing. To see the kid Dejan grab the winner was great for his confidence. Hopefully some 'Berry fans can gladly call them self a rich fool.


Strawberry Fields go on to face Zac Ryan's Damaged FC in the next round, while Dragons' manager Andrew Parkes was left cursing a moment of madness from Avine that ended their GWC adventure:

I have to admit to being very disappointed to be out of the competition, largely due to my team's history with this cup. We will just have to regroup and push hard for the other titles up for grabs this season. I would also like to wish Craig the very best of luck for the rest of the competition and I shall be watching keenly as to who wins the cup before I work hard at regaining the crown next season.

Wednesday 11 February 2009

Eto'o Bags Three for Villans

Samuel Eto'o was the hat-trick hero for Erdington Villans as they comprehensively beat Chester Rats in their Gold Cup Group B match which had been hyped as a clash of the titans.

However Rats' manager Jamie Cook will be scratching his head at how his team was beaten so soundly in this match between two heavyweights in the top 5 of the UFFA rankings; despite seemingly having more of the game it was Richie Birchall's Villans who took a decisive step towards qualification from the group.

Striker Eto'o was in devastating form in front of goal, and opened the scoring by volleying in Ashley Young's cross in the 10th minute. Chester Rats then pressed for an equaliser, with playmaker Carlos Vela at the heart of much of their attacking moves and opposition goalkeeper Jorge Villalpando was kept busy. But when it looked like the home team's efforts would bear fruit, up popped Eto'o to break their hearts with two poacher's goals in the last 5 minutes. He took advantage of some shocking Rats' defending to score in the 85th minute, and then completed his hat trick following a slick one-two move in the 89th.

Chester Rats will have to start winning if they are to have any hope of qualifying from Group B, while the Villans look to be in imperious form.

Monday 9 February 2009

UFFA Disciplinary Policies Under Review

Following widespread criticism of the UFFA's handling of recent high-profile transfer scandals UFFA spokesman Richard Tebbutt has announced that an internal review of disciplinary policies is to take place this week.

I will say that our policy is to deal with each investigation on it's own merits, but I will be looking at some of our policies next week to see if we are being too soft on some obvious cheats.


It was not made clear whether any changes in policy would be made public and Mr. Tebbutt refused to be drawn any further on the subject.

Friday 6 February 2009

Cameron Defends Transfer Policy

Andrew Cameron appeared before the gathered press at a hastily arranged press conference at the Bernabeu Den with a pre-prepared statement in response to the allegations made in yesterday's Cloughite.

Firstly, I would like to clarify that the Madrid Lions are not a selling club. We have never been in the habit of selling our best players, and it is not a habit we wish to get into. The recent moves made in the transfer market may have raised one or two eyebrows, but they have been made with the full backing of the board.

The players who have been brought in have not been brought in as a profit making mechanism. There is no doubt that all four of the star players currently out on loan have a future at the club, and along with Gabriel Hauche, will in all likelihood form the backbone of our team for years to come. As the more economically minded will no doubt be aware, the world is in a recession, and the 'Clough Crunch' has really impacted on a lot of clubs. However, here at the Bernabeu Den, we are aware that this kind of market presents as many opportunities as it does pitfalls.

We have looked to exploit the market fully during this time, and have brought in players that are simply outwith our budget in normal market circumstances. Obviously we have the major stadium project to think about at present, and the players being loaned out is merely a short term measure to balance the books. Rest assured I have full confidence in the players who have remained at the club to hold our reputation within the UFFA, prior the surge we intend to make when the players return.


Mr. Cameron's statement failed to deny the rumours that these players were signed purely for the potential profit a future sale could see the club make, and furthermore indicated that the club could be looking to make further deals of a similar nature.

However, at this stage I am unable to guarantee that no more players will be making similar moves out, nor indeed that the players who are out on loan will return at the end of the season. These could very well become 42 day moves, purely for financial reasons. I would like to assure the fans that the club does not consider itself to be in financial jeopardy, and we fully expect to come out the other side of this recession a far stronger team.


After reading the statement the press officer informed those present that they would not be taking further questions on the matter.

Thursday 5 February 2009

Human Trafficing Scandal at The Madrid Lions

What do Fernando Gago, Jeremy Menez and Lionel Messi have in common? In the last three days Andrew Cameron's The Madrid Lions have signed these world class players in free agent wage auctions only to place them immediately on the loan list.

Messi spent just 3 days at The Bernabeu Den; a lifetime compared to the 12 minutes Fernando Gago spent at the club before being loaned out to White Rose; and it took just 2 minutes for Menez to be shipped out on loan to Strawberry Fields F.C. for the season.

Strawberry Fields F.C. manager Craig MacLean had this to say on the matter when contacted by the Cloughite:

I was made aware of Jeremy Menez' availability through his agent, the deal was set up and all I had to do was sign a piece of paper.

To bring him in for the 'Berries Premiership push was in my club's best interest; I don't know the reasons behind Madrid Lions signing him but we won't be lining their pockets with cash after the deal is through. I'm sure Jeremy wasn't too happy with the club's intentions either but he hasn't spoken to me on the matter.


All the evidence suggests that Mr. Cameron is gambling on the transfer market returning to it's previously inflated state at some point during these players contracts in the hope of then selling them at a substantial profit.

If The Madrid Lions were to sell these players in 42 days time, having successfully found two clubs to take the players on loan and play half of their wages for this period (thus being able to retain 100% of any profit from selling the players) it would take a transfer fee above £2m would see them make a profit on Menez and Gago and anything above £3.2m would see them profit from the Messi deal.

The FML Player's Union have expressed their concern at these kinds of deal, which have become all too common in the past week, but admitted that technically no UFFA rules have been broken leaving them powerless to act on the situation.

El Bombers' Transfer Embargo Lifted

The big news in Clough today was the story of Bahaa Berjawi's El-Bombers, who's transfer of world class striker Mario Gomez from Beatons Bashers moments before they quit the UFFA has been under investigation by the authorities for the past week.

The transfer embargo on El-Bombers was lifted today, and in the early afternoon Bahaa announced that he needed to sell a number of players because he'd got "in deep trouble with the mods, I need a lot of money or else I'll be leaving". This sparked a heated discussion with UFFA members jumping to the defense of their beleaguered colleague, attacking the decision to punish El-Bombers.

This is awful
Mods, what are you thinking, we have people deliberatly running their clubs into the grounds and caring of the impact. We have people leaving daily.

Why are you hitting this guy with such a fine? how many people have 2mil nowadays. Even West Ham got to appeal!!

Why dont you stagger the fine over a period of 2 season so he can survive. Is putting this guy out of business really the answer?
- Frasier Harvie (15:54)


It sounds like something out of a mafia movie plot!
- Mark Garner (16:00)


I'd give it up mate - Mods are Judge, Jury and Executioner with no fair appeals process.

And you're likely to get a fine for questioning their actions in either discussions on here or on the forums, mores the shame.

I'm a big advocate of the right to free speech and also the right to protest (both recognised human rights), but such things are surpressed in this game simply because the people (person) at the top doesn't like to have any flaws exposed (even if those flaws could be discussed, learned from and things made better in the long run).

Your only course of action here is to log a ticket with (lack of) support then hope and prey before realising you aint going to have anything changed and you have to live with it or leave and not pay your subscription any more.

I will add that the mods are generally nice guys and generally make the right decisions in keeping the gameworld trouble-free, the problem is the dealing with the aftermath, particularly if things HAVE gone wrong.

A 'Customer Charter' would solve such things by letting us know what to expect, what the mods do, what the appeals process is, etc (cue the usual 'read the Terms and Conditions' posts, please note a Customer Charter is NOT the terms and conditions and would be ADDITIONAL to any Terms and Condiitons) - I have suggested doing this, but again 'the man' does not wish to entertain the idea.
- James Hargreaves (18:21)


Not everyone was so easily taken in though:

He did a dodgy deal and was fined. Not by mods and not by mods in our gameworld but it would only be the lead mod Richard Tedbutt who can do it. If this makes or breaks him he goes in the pile with the others tagged with bad planning/not thinking about future cos his deal negotiated was one sided and that allowed him to lose a lot of unwanted players and bring in someone very good. If its gonna ruin him then im pretty sure he would have been given the option of him to have Gomez released which it would seem he didnt want to take.

Face up to your mistakes...
- Craig MacLean (19:14)


That's only half of the story and you know that full well Taha. To all those jumping on the "mods are evil" bandwagon here; have you done any research into the deal concerned at all? Do you really think that this deal would have been accepted by a manager that was not leaving the game world?

Considering he got to keep the player concerned, and all the wages saved on those half-a-dozen deadweights he offloaded at no cost I don't think he's done too bad with getting a £2m fine personally. I can think of a few high profile player releases lately that have cost clubs a lot of money in paid off contracts to free up projected income who would happily accept a £2m loss and a world class player instead of a similar loss without gaining a player of such quality as part of the deal.

If he'd just waited to bid for Gomez in a FAIR auction and paid to release his unsellable players from their contracts as the majority of the gameworld have done recently then he wouldn't be in the position he's in now.

Sadly, this is not the only deal of this type to have taken place during the past week either, tough times bring out the worst in people.
- Dave Parker (19:30)


However, the full facts of the story surfaced later that evening:

OK - before this gets any further out of hand, we approached the manager who purchased Gomez as he swapped 5 players knowing full well that the other manager was leaving - this allowed him to get a world class player whilst dumping 5 players and decreasing his wages at the same time.

Quote from the chat logs "We'll do it this way so it doesn't look suspicious".

We then received various pleading emails from the manager (and his brother) begging us to not release Gomez and that the manager was prepared to pay another £2m to keep him.

I was asked to look at the deal, and whilt the MVs balanced there was a significant drop in wages so we gave the manager 3 options:

1) Remove £2m from his finances to compensate (he couldn't afford this now so we gave him 24hrs to come up with the cash)
2) Remove a player with a £2m MV from his squad, or
3) Remove Gomez and refund his money spent.

Now how is that not fair (except perhaps we were too lenient?)

So yet again I invite you all to please calm down, request the full facts of the matter in private if you are concerned, and give the mods a break! They are all doing the best job they can, and unfortunately these "discussions" where they are abused really don't help
- Richard Tebbutt (19:38)

The story promises to rumble on for some time yet; in the early hours of Thursday morning Mario Gomez's contract at El-Bombers was cancelled by the authorities. My sources in the UFFA suggest that this is not the only deal of this type to be investigated recently either.



This episode raised a number of questions:
  1. Why are disciplinary actions not made public to begin with? A transparant disciplinary process should be introduced by the authorities, seeing them make public the findings of all investigation into such deals; announcing the parties involved, the reasons for the punishment and the punishment itself.
  2. Why is there no punishment for breaking UFFA rules over and above reversing the illegal actions caught? When someone steals your car his punishment is not simply having to return the car to you.


Media Deals Agreed

Media deals for the coming season were announced today, with over £680 million on the table in total. The XEFA recieved the largest total media deal, amounting to £1.16m per club.

FederationMembersMedia DealPer Club
Xtreme Evening Football Association79£91.6m£1.16m
All Evening Football Association78£82.7m£1.06m
Xtreme Football Association75£82.5m£1.1m
Primetime Football Association71£80.2m£1.07m
Casual Weekday Association60£64.4m£1.07m
Social Football Association58£62.3m£0.98m
Weekend Football Association56£55.1m£1.08m
Early Evening Football Association49£53.3m£1.00m
Super Evening Football Association42£42m£1.11m
Nighttime Football Association32£35.5m£1.09m
Moonlight Football Association29£31.6m£1.08m
Total629
£681.2m£1.08m

Wednesday 4 February 2009

XEFA Extended

Members of the XEFA today voted to extend the window in which official federation matches can be played by 1 hour. The changes will come into effect from next season.

Twenty-nine users voted in the XEFA Change in FA Times vote that ended this afternoon at 14:21.

The result of the vote was :

Choice #1 : 'Stay the same 9 to 12' - 6 votes (20.7%)
Choice #2 : 'Extend by an Hour 8 to 12' - 23 votes (79.3%)

Monday 2 February 2009

Union of Football Academies Season 3 Roundup

Division 1
Faversham Town retained their UFA title, emerging as clear winners in the first UFA season where the title was decided before the final day of the season, finishing 11 ahead of second placed Wymondham FC, who led the chasing pack on 63 points, narrowly beating Relegation Fodder to second place by a single point.

At the bottom of the table Metairie FC and Hammers United FC failed to stay in touch with the rest of the league. But the final relegation place was a closely fought battle between Queens Park Stone Age, Strathmore Cloggers, Bradfax City & Wizardos with only 3 points seperating them at the end. Queens Park Stone Age had survivial in their own hands when they went into their final game of the season against Derry City, but unfortunately they succombed to a 1-0 defeat, with Smederevac putting the ball into his own net to send his team crashing down into Division 2.
  • UFA Division 1 Player of the Season: David N'Gog - an average rating of 7.61, including 36 goals and 6 assists from his 34 appearances for title winners Faversham Town.
  • UFA Division 1 Golden Boot: David N'Gog - 36 goals in 34 appearances for Faversham Town.
  • UFA Division 1 Golden Gloves: David Onana - 13 clean sheets in 34 appearances for Cardiff United.

Division 2
Spaghetti Delight claimed the Division 2 title with a hefty 8 point lead at the top of the table, Carter FC took second place by 9 points from Ann Arbor Arsenal who claimed the final promotion spot to Division 1.

At the other end of the league True Blues FC had a truly dreadful season, claiming only 7 points from their 34 games. Langdon F.C. filled the final relegation spot, trailing 16th position Stoke City FC by 6 points.

  • UFA Division 2 Player of the Season: Manuel Fischer - an average rating of 7.68, including 32 goals and 2 assists from his 29 appearances for Carter FC.
  • UFA Division 2 Golden Boot: Manuel Fischer - 32 goals in 29 appearances for Carter FC.
  • UFA Division 2 Golden Gloves: Frank Thijssen - 15 clean sheets in 32 appearances for title winners Spaghetti Delight.

Division 3
In a close title race Perfect Mic Habbit FC won Division 3 by just 2 points ahead of Wandsworth Rovers.

  • UFA Division 3 Player of the Season: Reimond Manco - an average rating of 7.42, including 13 goals and 7 assists from his 14 appearances for CF Byzantium.
  • UFA Division 3 Golden Boot: Reimond Manco - 13 goals in 14 appearances for CF Byzantium.
  • UFA Division 3 Golden Gloves: Saliou Traore - 7 Clean Sheets in 18 appearances for Perfect Mc Habbit FC.


UFA Challenge Cup
Cardiff United & Phantoms met in the final. The result was never in doubt in the most one sided final in the history of the UFA, with Neil Roberts' team taking a 2-0 lead within 20 minutes that they rarely looked like relinquishing. A wonderful goal from Sergio Alvarez in the 46th minute put the result beyond doubt. With 10 minutes remaining Wilson Folleco nodded home a cross at the far post to give Phantoms a glimmer of hope, but 3-1 it ended, with Cardiff United claiming their first UFA trophy.


UFA Super Cup
The inaugural UFA Super Cup saw the best teams from last season meet in this prestigous cup competition. Strawberry Fields F.C. met Wymondham FC in a dramatic final. A 21st minute penalty gave Wymondham FC an early lead which they held on to until the 67th minute when Brazilian striker Gabriel Machado headed Craig "Tweej" MacLean's team level. With extra-time looming large Wymondham FC 'keeper Rhys Taylor parried a Javes Morrison freekick straight into the path of a grateful Wellington Peca who calmly placed the ball into the back of the net to put Strawberry Fields F.C. ahead with only 2 minutes left on the clock.

Sunday 1 February 2009

Union of Football Academies Season 2 Roundup

Division 1
Newly promoted Faversham Town backed up their reputation as the best U21 team in the world by claiming the UFA Championship.

Three draws in their last six matches, including a 2-2 draw against The Birmingham Bearded Women, conceeding a late equaliser in the 83'rd minute), followed by more dropped points in a 1-1 draw against Fen Ditton in their penultimate game of the season left Faversham manager Dan Wiles knowing only 3 points against Caius IV in their final game of the season would see them leapfrog Strawberry Fields F.C. and claim the title; a match they ran out convincing 5-2 victors.

Despite eight wins and a draw in the last ten games of the season Craig MacLean saw his side finish runners up for the second successive season.

At the other end of the table things were not quite so close, with 5 points seperating the relegated trio of Rushmore Academy, Salterbeck Snails and Kavchester City from the safety of 17th place.
  • UFA Division 1 Player of the Season : Aaron Ramsey - an average rating of 7.35, including 10 goals and 8 assists from his 29 appearances for title winners Faversham Town.
  • UFA Division 1 Golden Boot: Maicon - 27 goals in 33 appearances for Wymondham FC.
  • UFA Division 1 Golden Gloves: Francisco Santana - 14 clean sheets in 37 appearances for Strawberry Fields F.C..

Division 2
A three horse race for the title saw Bradfax City pip Cardiff United and King Krimson FC to top spot. 7 points seperated the big three from the chasing pack.
  • UFA Division 2 Player of the Season: Emiliano Alfaro - an average rating of 7.61, including 20 goals and 7 assists from his 19 appearances for Bradfax City.
  • UFA Division 2 Golden Boot: Emiliano Alfaro - 20 goals in 19 appearances for champions Bradfax City.
  • UFA Division 2 Golden Gloves: Kenni Furbo - 13 clean sheets in 19 appearances for KS Piast Nowa Ruda.

UFA Challenge Cup
The top two teams met in an epic encounter, after going a goal down following a (dreadful mistake by Faversham's 'keeper) the league champions proved, once again, why they are the team to beat at this level with two goals in 5 minutes, including a screamer by Paulo Henrique. With only 2 minutes to go Antero Ferreira da Silva found himself in space in the penalty area and made it count.

To penalties the game went and Vito Mannone emerged as the hero, saving 2 spot kicks to seal victory for Faversham Town.

Goal of the Week - January 31st, 2009

The goal of the week competition resulted in a dead heat this week, with Alberto Paloschi & Wanderley sharing the award.
The results for this week's Senior Goal of the Week competition are in. First place winner's manager's will receive £35,000, third place's manager's will receive £30,000. The vote results are as follows :-
  1. Alberto Paloschi (Razorshot FC) Vs Firenze with 10 votes.
  2. Wanderley (Honka) Vs FC Chin Up with 10 votes.
  3. Issa Ba (Ann Arbor Arsenal) Vs Spaghetti Delight with 6 votes.
  4. Badr El Kaddouri (FC Ulander) Vs SV Furburger with 1 vote.
  5. Badr El Kaddouri (FC Ulander) Vs SV Furburger with 0 votes.
Carlos Ferreira was the randomly chosen winner whose club F. C. Porto Kenshin receive a prize of £50,000 for voting for the winner of this weeks award.



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