Clough Boring Research Department

Originally written by Tony McDermot

So I got bored and decided to do some boring research, like the Deloitte tables and so on and so forth, comparing the top-flight leagues of all the FAs in Clough and comparing them on a more or less arbitrary basis. And here's the results!

FOOTBALL STYLE:

"The side have been applauded in recent times as a side who truly epitomise the 'beautiful game.' They manage to achieve great success with an open, flamboyant style which has resulted in the side becoming known as a favourite of the neutral supporters."

1. MLFA PREM: 87.5%
2. SFA PREM: 64.7%
3. EFA PREM: 60.0%
4. XEFA PREM: 40.0%
5. CFA PREM: 30.0%

This study seems to indicate that the MLFA is the most beautiful, open and flamboyant of the top-flight leagues, making it not only an international television success but also gaining the praise of the football purists who like to see the game played in an open and technical manner. The SFA Premiership and the EFA Premiership both strive towards this level of technical proficiency, with well over half of the teams in these leagues portraying the 'beautiful game'. The XEFA Premiership can't quite make the same claim, as only 8 of the 20 teams are described as such, while the CFA is clearly the least beautiful of all the leagues, although it is not without its own redeeming qualities.


GOALS PER GAME:
1. SFA PREM: 695 in 455 = 1.53 goal per game
2. EFA PREM: 901 in 627 = 1.44gpg
3. CFA PREM: 918 in 672 = 1.37 gpg
4. XEFA PREM: 1662 in 1230 = 1.35 gpg
5. MLFA PREM: 830 in 668 = 1.29 gpg

In spite of it's open football, the MLFA is also the lowest scoring of the top-flight leagues in Clough. the CFA and XEFA achieved a healthy goals per game ratio, which is interesting mainly because these two leagues ranked as the 'least beautiful' of the five leagues studied. Perhaps their sides, while not necessarily playing beautiful passing games, may in fact play a more direct attacking style of football. The EFA can make it through 1.44 goals per game, but the king of excitement in Clough is the SFA Premiersip, with on average over one and a half goals in every game played.


FOULS PER GAME
1. XEFA PREM: 13819 in 11.23 fpg
2. SFA PREM: 5203 in 455 = 11.44 fpg
3. CFA PREM: 8173 in 672 = 12.16 fpg
4. MLFA PREM: 8120 in 12.2 fpg
5. EFA PREM: 8352 in 627 = 13.32 fpg

The cleanest of the leagues is the XEFA, only committing just over 11 fouls on average per game. The SFA isn't far behind, with slighlty under 11 and a half fouls committed per game, while the CFA and MLFA are almost joined on an average of 12.2 fouls per game. By far and away the dirtiest of all the top-flights in Clough however is the EFA, averaging over a foul per game more than any other Premiership in the Game World. Certainly this is something for EFA teams to improve upon, and may be a contributing factor in their inability to make the top rankings of the goals per game or the beautiful football standings.


Financial State
Very Rich = 5pts
Rich = 4pts
Secure = 3 pts
OK (in credit) = 2pts
OK (in debt) = 1pt

1. CFA PREM: 43/100 = 43%
2. MLFA PREM: 34/80 = 42.5%
3. XEFA PREM: 41/100 = 41%
4. EFA PREM: 39/100 = 39%
5. SFA PREM: 32/85 = 37.6%

Using a percentile ranking system, each of the top divisions in Clough have had their sides assessed according to the above tables, and that has led to the CFA being revealed as having the richest top-flight of the whole game world. Only slightly behind them lies the MLFA Premiership, with the XEFA slightly behind that. The EFA manages a percentile score of 39%, well behind the leading pack, while the SFA has by far the poorest Premiership in the whole of Clough. This poverty does not necessarily have an adverse effect on their goalscoring, but might have a negative long-term effect on the SFA's development.